“Mom, Helen pooped outside!” I wasn’t sure what my 3 year old was saying because he’s relatively new to the English language (3 years new, to be exact). Once I realized what he was saying despite the exclusion of enunciation, I ran outside to behold a naked baby playing in her poop, and I mean playing like a child would with playdough; that stuff was under her fingernails. It was a warm sunny day and I had taken off her diaper to let her play with a bucket of water. Her fascination with the water was affording me time to unpack from our previous camping trip. Like home projects where you take one step forward only to take three steps backwards, I had unpacked some clothes and started laundry only to find a poopy mess outside (thank God it was outside). Helen was playing with her poop, holding one of our favorite books, sitting on a sleeping bag in our backyard.
Have you ever had one of those days where it feels like nothing goes right? Of course you have because if you’re reading this you’re *most likely* human and more than a day old. On days like that, it can feel like my kids are doing everything in their power to ruin my life, to disobey with the express intent to spite me, when in reality they are personally battling their own sin nature. My kids are battling their flesh; they’re not trying to ruin my life. Still, the tendency is to make every offense about myself, because I, like my children, am selfish. It can certainly feel like my kids have some master plan that I don’t know about, a plan to see how far they can push me mentally until I snap. And while my threshold for chaos has grown, I’m not impervious to what feels like constant whining and having to repeat a command more than 10384 times.
Some hold the belief that humans are inherently good; if I ever held that belief it was unknowingly, and moreover my kids have long ago cured me of it. Hunter and I love our kids more than anyone else loves them (besides God), and yet we know better than anyone else how inherently evil they are apart from correction, conviction, and the working of the Holy Spirit. The same applies to any adult including myself; apart from Christ my life would be drastically different, my marriage would suffer, I would opt for the easier roads as opposed to the right ones, and I probably wouldn’t own any chickens because obviously only very spiritually wise people own chickens.
On hard parenting days like these, it can feel like I’m constantly trying to reset, to start over. And so I reset as many times as I need to, until I break out into maniacal laughter at how many times I’ve mentally reset (and that really freaks out my kids; you should definitely try it). I’ve exceeded the quota after 5 times, right? On these kinds of days, I long for the next day because His mercies are new every morning and I don’t recall a verse saying they’re new every couple hours. However, I do recall that His grace is sufficient in my weakness!
“9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9
I have to wonder if so many of our trials are a blur but the way we respond to them, the way we work through them, has the lasting effect (hello Sanctification!). I don’t normally remember the specific issues from the day (unless they include poop playdough), I only remember my responses and whether or not I am proud of how I responded. One reason us mommas don’t recall every inconvencinece is because of the quantity and quality of them; the kids may have been obedient overall, but a child spilling their milk while the youngest is whining at your feet, while the house is a mess can feel like a personal attack from every individual offender. Dealing with all the things at the same time causes an over-reaction whereas dealing with each issue individually helps us to not yell at said milk spiller who bears the brunt of our freak out since he’s not the baby. It may not be an option to deal with every issue individually, but if we can remember that our children are individuals who aren’t responsible for the baby’s poop explosion we may extend more grace to them when they have the audacity to spill milk or not clean up their toys, minor offenses that contribute stress to already stressful situations.
I first rinsed Helen outside with the hose which she severely hated because it was cold water, so she clinged to me with wet poopy hands and therefore got poop all over my dress and arms. I threw away the book she had been holding despite my daughter saying the book was not tarnished because the sniff test told me otherwise and books aren’t expensive. Also, I went through the yard and picked up poop because in my distress I shook off the sleeping bag only to realize I did not actually want poop in the yard either. Lastly, I finished her off with a bath and tried to get dinner going despite my assaulted appetite. I salute you mommas who have had to deal with a similar scenario indoors. Motherhood is not for the faint of heart, or for people with queasy stomachs.
Motherhood is a series of hard but good days that have the power to change us if we let it; we can approach the hard days from a mindset of victimization, or with joy that we have such a challenging and high calling as mothers. Our children are not personally attacking us when they disobey, and every time we take the opportunity to discipline or extend grace we are also growing in our walk with the Lord. It takes a significant amount of self control to not lash out and yell out of anger, but it’s what we are called to because it’s how the Lord treats us. We are neglecting the sanctifying work of motherhood if we allow our flesh to lead us. So whether you need to unpack from a trip, or are constantly resetting because the kids are doing “the most”, or you need to hose down a poopy baby, do it all for the glory of Christ and in a couple years from now you may not even recognize the mother you used to be (that’s what I’m hoping my myself!).